TRUST
Today I felt called to talk about trust. I believe it to be the most basic and valuable perspective you can project onto someone. When you see the other human your interacting with as trustworthy…you somehow automatically transport your mind back to your childhood. You become the most pure, attentive, funny, authentic version of yourself. We see this version of us as something to be protective over, the version of us that saw the world as a cosmic playground, the version of us where fear doesn't exist. Many if not all of us have shown this light to someone who couldn’t or wouldn’t understand it. Now somebody does this once no big deal, you shrug it off and continue to be authentic, but after you experience this inability or unwillingness to understand from others long enough you start to think…differently. You stop sharing as much, the twinkle in your eye starts to dwindle and you decide it’s easier to be inauthentic, as least that’s the conclusion I came to. And you know what, not only was it easier but people actually rewarded me for it! It’s like I didn’t even have to think at all, I could just go on autopilot and “coast” through life. Now when your overwhelmed with self hatred projected onto you by what seems like a 360* circumference of doom, autopilot seems like a great deal. You can still live but you don’t have to experience pain anymore? Wow sign me up lol, but after years, and years, and years, andddd yeaaaars of behaving in this complicit, drowsy like state something starts to feel…missing. I couldn’t quite put my finger on exactly what it was for quite sometime and that obscurity made me forget what was authentic or inauthentic. I myself didn’t even know if I was showing up as real or not, and after I while that starts to get exhausting. Making promises you can’t keep, loving others who don’t deserve your love, protecting your truth instead of projecting your truth. So where did that lead me?
I bit dramatic I know lol but this a depiction of Purgatory in my opinion. Basically a place where people kinda sorta wanna do the right thing but are maybe possibly still entertained by debauchery but at the same time wanting and knowing things could be better but but but but…and this cycle continues until you seek a way out of it and by God’s grace you see a way out😂. And it least for me my way out was to say screw it and start trusting. Trusting in the universe first and foremost, but then trusting myself, and after that slowly starting to trust others. Slowly starting to open up and share the most authentic, vulnerable version of myself until truth is all I see (at least that is the intention). Then you’ll go from Purgatory to…
Have a great day everyone 😌🌱, and remember to Keep your I open .
